Review: Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen

No picture yet. I'm sending this from a faraway place. Details will not be forthcoming.

I'll be straightforward.

The movie was incredible. It rivals Star Trek for sheer fun. Testament to how good I thought it was? I watched it twice. Last time I watched a movie in the theater more than once? Return of the King.

It's no Lord of the Rings, but Michael Bay knows his military, knows how to blow things up, and makes a really great Transformers film.

Like Star Trek, it's not without a couple of logical inconsistencies which will stretch your ability to suspend disbelief, but not to the extent where it will affect your ability to enjoy the film.

Several things I'd like to bring up about the movie, trying to avoid as many spoilers as possible.

First, Soundwave. I love how he was given the form of a spy and communication satellite. And I enjoyed his status as the Decepticon tactical coordinator. And I liked that he survived to cause trouble in the next movie. Best of all, he was voiced by Frank Welker. I didn't like that he didn't say "Ravage, eject," and that Ravage was a casualty. Then again, that just means Laserbeak is coming.

Second, more robotic asskicking. The Autobot vs Decepticon combat in this movie was ramped up to the nth degree compared to the first movie. Best part was that Optimus Prime was the one who did the best fighting, up to and including dual-wielding energy-enhanced blades versus three Decepticons (best fight in the movie).

Third, more Transformers. Hooray for bringing in Arcee(s), Devastator (the real one), Jetfire, Soundwave and Sideswipe. Boo to not having Sunstreaker (he and Sideswipe are bros, dammit), Shockwave (really, big, gun), and Grimlock (Spielberg! Jurassic Park! Grimlock bridges both movies!).

Lastly, and people who watched the first film will understand what a big thing this is... They made Agent Simmons cool. I won't go into details how. But he was the coolest human in the movie. Salutes to the authors.

Watch it. Get the DVD. Then bring on another sequel.

Review: Star Trek

Sorry. This is really long overdue, so I'll make it short and sweet.

I watched Star Trek the same weekend it came out, and boy, was I impressed. I'm not a Trekkie by any measure of the word. I've seen maybe 3 or 4 episodes of the original series, about 2 dozen each of Next Generation and Deep Space 9, and Season 3 onwards of Voyager, but only for lack of anything better to watch. I have seen all the previous motion pictures, none in the theaters, and the only ones I deemed to be rewatchable are Wrath of Khan and The Voyage Home (go whales!).

I'm fairly well-versed in the geek cliches of Trek, however, and that's probably one of the reasons I loved the reboot movie so much. Same goes for my wife. She loved it and she's less of a Trek fan than even myself.

The film managed to breathe new life and energy into an aging franchise while somehow paying more than commendable homage to everything that made the original series such a cult classic. The entire classic cast was there, and though history in the film was irrevocably altered, one could immediately see that this crew, on this starship, had a destiny together that was too strong for even a nutbar like Eric Bana to destroy.

The verbal homages rocked. And most of them were in there, including "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a..." and "I'm givin' it all she's got, Captain!" Portrayals of the classic cast were spot on, from their personality down to the classic lines that would never grow old, and this despite giving new elements and dimensions to each character. If some of the cast seemed like cardboard cutouts in the TV series, the crew in the film had life. Why else would I have been cheering so often in the film?

Best film moment, hands down, was when future Spock, reprised by the immortal Leonard Nimoy, said to Kirk, "I am, and always will be, your friend."

If I wasn't so busy applauding, I would have shed a tear.

Now, if for some odd reason, you haven't seen this film yet, find time to watch it. It will make a diehard of even the most casual fan. Bring on the next on, Mr. Abrams. I'll be waiting.

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Addendum: Meanwhile, watch out for Chris Hemsworth. He did an incredible job as James Kirk's father, George Kirk, in the opening minutes of the film. Now, he's been cast to star as Thor in the 2011 movie helmed by Kenneth Branagh. Good luck, Chris. Do the role proud.

Beyond Rage: The Whitewashing of Avatar

Words fail me right now, as I try to rein in my chaotic thoughts to compose this. This paragraph alone took me over ten minutes to write, because I'd have to keep stopping in order to push myself back and breathe deeply in order to stop seeing red. I keep reminding myself that it would do no good to vent by pounding the keyboard to splintered plastic, nor would it serve me to punch holes through my monitor. Having to revise these lines to a semblance of civility from the original, R-Rated-for-Violence-and-Strong Language version caused delays as well.

Now that I'm sufficiently calm enough, it's time to rant. And I'll endeavor to make this as simple and straightforward as possible.

This is my reaction to the latest news about the movie adaptation of my favorite piece of animation, Avatar: The Last Airbender. Those who know me know I'm an uber-fan of that series. I could say a hundred things about it, but I'll summarize it by giving it the best compliment I can give: It's a wonderfully-written piece of art, and I doubt that I could have written it better.

When I first heard about the live-action movie, I had qualms, since I felt that Avatar as a setting and environment was strictly best as an animation. Then I heard that M. Night Shyamalan was directing. That made me even more nervous. Shyamalan's previous works belong to a completely different genre and mood from that of Avatar, and some of his previous directing decisions have been somewhat... dubious. And then, I heard about the casting. I read that the casting criteria when seeking Aang didn't have racial parameters.

Uh-oh. I then mused on a terrible scenario: That Aang's role might go to that of a Caucasian.

When it comes to casting roles in adaptations, I by default insist that established racial lines be adhered to as closely as possible. When that rumor of Will Smith being considered for the role of Captain America came out, I hated the idea, not because of being biased against Will being black, or the actor himself, but simply because Captain America is white, and so he should be portrayed by a white male. It's that easy.

Moving back to Avatar, I still expressed some hope that they would do the casting justice, especially in casting unknowns possessing the proper racial attributes. I mean, how could they get that wrong? One of the wonders of the Avatar setting is that it's predominantly Asian, including the characters and people. And Shymalan himself is Asian. And his daughters were mentioned to be extreme fans of the show. Surely he wouldn't make an error?

I should have known that something terrible would happen when my friends and I began joking about him casting a white Sokka, or a white Mai, or a white Katara. My group of friends tends to have some degree of prophetic power when it comes to our communal jokes.

It was just a few days ago that I discovered the horror.

The HORROR.

From what casting had been revealed, it was not a single mistake. It was a total, complete, shameful whitewash.

Jackson Rathborne, for all the appropriateness of his role in Twilight, was cast as Sokka. Some white babe named Nicola Peltz was given the role of Katara. And Jesse McCartney was given the role of Zuko.

...

...

...

That was the sound of my soul screaming.

This is the pair that discovers the Avatar in the iceberg:


And this is the guy who's chasing after him:


Who's the Avatar? Some kid named Noah Ringer. He's supposed to be practicing karate. Yay. I bet he's white too. [I hope to God I'm wrong on this, since haven't seen a pic of the dude yet, but I'm not hoping very deeply given what I've seen.]

Apologies for the political reference, but I can't help but wince that I discover this after America wised up and elected their first African-American president.

As I hold my head in my hands, I despair at what went wrong. This is the closest that Shyamalan could have come to a direct betrayal. This movie and story is based on so many Asian cultures. And he tosses in the whitest cast I've ever seen. Nice going. What? They were chosen for their talent? Is Shyamalan and his casting director (if he has one) saying they couldn't find a single non-white actor that could fit any of those roles?

You've got no idea what you're doing, Shyamalan. What little respect I had for you is gone now. I hope your daughters crucify you for this BLASPHEMY.

Meanwhile, we wait in dread for the rest of the cast announcements. I wonder which cherubesque blondie they'll cast for Toph. I'll be printing that actress's picture along with that of the rest of the cast, attaching it to Shyamalan's effigy and setting the lot on FIRE.

Bah.

Review: The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

While I wasn't quite disappointed with the movie when I saw it this weekend, I can't say I was pleased either. The pacing was good. You could barely feel the almost 2 hours slide by. The effects were par, and the pulp dialogue and action was respectable. Still, there were several things lacking that made this the worst of the three movies.

There were inconsistencies in the movie that pretty much ruined my verisimilitude. Minor things first. At the gate of Shangri-La, why didn't they just cut the bridge? And why didn't they destroy the golden tower before trying to stop the emperor? When the sorceress summoned all those dead warriors to fight on their side, why didn't the Great Wall collapse? Weren't those guys buried in the foundation? And why did she speak the spell in English? Especially when the spell that cursed the emperor had to be spoken in Sanskrit? And while we're on the subject of English, why, at the sorceress's death, did her daughter cry out in English as well? In times of great distress, one would expect that you would shout out in your primary language. What, she was being melodramatic for the sake of her English-speaking companions? That is just stupid if it's the case.

And my main gripe? The Emperor himself. The big bad was LAME.

Master of the five elements of water, fire, metal, wood, and earth? Let's see... he threw balls of fire... and he made ice shards and ice slicks...

Where was the metal / wood / earth powers? No earthquakes? No rockslides? No dust storms? Why didn't he turn their own guns and bullets against them? What gives? Some master. "I have 5 uber abilities, but I'll only use 2 of them. Coz, yknow, I know KUNG FU!"

Blagh.

And where was the face? This is a Mummy movie! Brendan Frasier is supposed to be chased by an elemental manifestation with the mummy's face! Wasn't the emperor supposed to be the one USING THE AVALANCHE instead of being swept away by it? What a lousy oversight!

If Imhotep were around, he'd come by and wipe his ass with this stupid emperor.

Such a sad, sad waste for Jet Li. He probably feels like George Clooney did after Batman and Robin.

Wanna know what was the best thing about this movie? I'll tell you.

Right before the movie? I got to see the full Watchmen trailer.

Yes. The trailer is better than the movie.

If you haven't seen it, save your money and watch this on video or HBO.

Quick Jabs: Disassociated Randomness

Some random rants and raves for now. Sometimes, there are just so many things in a guy's head that to focus on any single one is bad. Especially if he wants to sleep later. I might choose to write about any one of these in greater detail later, but for now, putting them down in text takes precedence.

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Avatar, The Last Airbender - The greatest, most entertaining animated series in the history of American animation is set to have its final DVD compilation, with the last several episodes, out at the end of this month. Why must I wait so long? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?

*FLAILS*

*calms down*

Ahem. That doesn't happen very often. The flailing, I mean. Only happens with things 'm crazy about, of which this series is one of them. I have been waiting much too long to get my hands on the ending. Nickelodeon, for some insane reason, opted to release the DVD compilation BEFORE airing the final eps on television. So the soonest anyone can see the final bits of this excellent production are when the DVD is released.

Way to go boosting your DVD sales.

Only good thing about this is that it gives me time to save up some money.

Verdict: Rant + Rave

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I may have mentioned once that the 2008 movie season is so incredible that I have to forego watching certain movies to be able to fit the really good ones into the budget. Those must-sees include Wall-E, The Dark Knight, Hellboy 2 and Mummy 3. Unfortunately, Wall-E seems to be destined for a late release here in Asia, and my cinema watching bone is itching.

Should I watch one of the movies I previously decided to give up?

Wanted is getting great reviews, and is one of the highest ever grossing from-comics movies from a non-DC, non-Marvel publisher. Plus, it has Angelina Jolie. The action, guns, and cinematography seem top-notch as well, and I know the story isn't going to be as stupidly shallow as Jumper.

Did I mention Angelina Jolie? Seems like I did. But she deserves a second mention.

There's also Hancock, which is yet another superhero flick, but with a seriously sardonic twist to it. It stars Will Smith, which is almost a guarantee for something at least remotely entertaining.

There's also comedy movies. Is Don't Mess with the Zohan showing yet? And then there's that Rob Schneider movie whose name doesn't come to mind right now... Oh wait, I think it was called Big Stan. I know that one's trailer made me laugh almost to tears. But it isn't out yet. So should I wait for Wall-E, especially with Dark Knight around the corner? Or watch something now?

Mmm... Angelina Jolie...

Verdict: Rant + Rave

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No news yet as to when the second season of Spectacular Spider-Man will begin. Boo. Thirteen eps are NOT enough. It's like Heroes: Season Two all over again, but without an annoying writers' strike.

And where is the next episode of Ben 10: Alien Force? The torrents stop at episode 9. I am not willing to wait for an Asian release for that series. Give me my Omnitrix fix now!

Verdict: Rant

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Batman #678 hits the stands this week. Third part in the ongoing Batman RIP story arc. I'd be interested, but it's written by Grant Morrison. And I have certain opinions about that guy.

I'll wait for the next installment of Detective Comics instead. Seems a much safer option.

Verdict: Rant

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My downloads are focusing on Transformers: Animated and Macross Frontier at the moment. Both are entertaining so far, with certain episodes of TF:A being more enjoyable than the best I've seen of MF (up to ep 8), but with MF being the overall better series due to numerous "miss" episodes on the TF:A end.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of both. I suspect that MF will stay the overall better of the two transforming mecha series, for numerous reasons, the primary of which is my inner Macross fanboy beats my inner Transformers fanboy.

Sari beats Ranka in likability in my book, however. I actually like the former a lot, and I normally don't appreciate kids who fall into the perky-stubborn pseudo-brat genre. Of the later... I can write volumes of how many ways I want her to die.

Verdict: Rave

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Hybrid rules.

And opposing color hybrid rules further.

Magic: The Gathering players know what I'm talking about.

Despite the hubbub surrounding Eventide, I'm still looking for a copy of Oona, Queen of the Fae. Anyone got a spare?

Verdict: Rave

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Skrulls are still invading the Marvel Universe. The X-Men have moved to San Francisco. Joss Wheddon says goodbye to the Runaways, who are not only going to have their book continue, but are rumored to have a movie in the conceptualization stages.

All good, except that Michael Turner is dead, Chuck Dixon left DC in a major huff, and DC editorial still can't tell its right hand from its left.

Verdict: Rant + Rave

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Nothing left to see here. Moving along.

Hulk Smash!

Now THIS is a Hulk movie. Just as Chris Nolan's Batman Begins redeemed the franchise after being violated by Joel Schumacher, this Hulk movie puts to rest that protoplasmic piece of refuse that Ang Lee made.

The action was great, and the destruction was even better. It might have even made Michael Bay proud. Things were smashed, collateral damage was widespread, and despite it all, the film still pushes through the simple concept that the US military can't understand: The best way to deal with the Hulk, is to leave him alone. That's what you do with forces of nature. Deal with the effects, but don't provoke it. Doing so just invokes disasters and abominations (pun intended). The contrast, and closeness, between monster and man was fully realized in a glorious 2 hours that even paid tribute to the TV series of old, with homages that would have made a true green fan smile.

The Tony Stark cameo at the end of the film gives us another look at the future glory of the coming Avengers film. I have to say again how perfect the casting of Robert Downey Jr. and Ed Norton were for their respective roles. If they can continue this trend with Thor and Captain America, I'm reserving my theater seat right now.

How am I supposed to wait till 2010 and 2011?

Double Feature - Of Mice and Pandas

I finally got to watch both Prince Caspian and Kung Fu Panda this weekend, and also got to enjoy a lovely Father’s Day weekend with my wife.

Prior to watching the movies, the whole family, my daughter and her grandparents included, went to a place called the Museum Café to have a Father’s Day buffet. The food was excellent, and included crabfat risotto, beef tenderloin tapa-style, roast lamb, fresh oysters, sushi, and Peking-style duck rolls. The giveaway bottles of wine for the dads were a nice punctuation to the meal.

Only problem was, to beat the heat, we had reserved a table inside the resto, only to discover that the air-conditioning was malfunctioning. To add insult to injury, there was a fresh breeze blowing outside, meaning we would have been much more comfortable dining in the shade than indoors, where there were only a few electric fans to keep cool.

The whole air-conditioning situation turned what would have been a great experience into just a good one, but I’m not really complaining. Enjoying great food with your family is always nice, heat or no heat.

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Regarding Prince Caspian, I’ll say up front that I liked this better than The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The character development was more solid, and themes were more mature than the previous movie. The primary Narnian elements were still there, including Aslan coming to save the day in the end, though with a woody, leafy twist revolving around his "Things never happen the same way twice" wisdom. I'll leave the Aslan-Jesus comparisons to other people. If I'm going to be talking about the breakout character of this film, I'm afraid it's not the lion, nor is it Prince Caspian (the Tenth!).

No. It would have to be none other than the mouse. THE Mouse.

Yes, I'm talking about Reepicheep, that small furry whirlwind of pure arrogance and deadly skill. If you watch this movie, prepare to be amazed. If you thought Frodo and the berserking Hobbits in Lord of the Rings were impressive, you haven't seen anything yet. This mouse may look like a swashbuckling musketeer or a master swordsman, but he also possesses what some people might call "l33t n1nj4 sk1llz."

This isn't an incredibly movie, mind you, but it is good. The coming sequel, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, becomes more attractive as a result. And to top it off, the mouse has a starring role there too.

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Now, Prince Caspian was good. Kung Fu Panda was awesome. They weren't kidding when they told you to prepare for awesomeness. This movie was either incredibly funny, wonderfully exciting, or both at the same time. Even the calmer moments had me smiling. A great story, wonderful cast, excellent characters, and superb CG animation made for the most entertaining movie so far this summer, rivaled only perhaps by Iron Man.

I can make very few criticisms, and they revolve around the climax. The movie ended on a nice note, but the climax deserved a better aftermath. I for one, demand two things from defeating the villain. First, I must see a body. Dead, mutilated, unconscious, bound, gagged, whatever. There must be a body. Second, I must at least have verbal affirmation of what happened to said body. Both of these requirements were, sadly, denied me.

My only consolation is that this opens up multiple avenues for a sequel. And for a movie this good, a sequel must indeed follow. The whole concept is just too awesome for a single film.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I sat down in the movie theater with simple expectations, something I noticed is important in enjoying films like this. I didn't come in expecting to see something as wondrously amazing as an installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (my gold standard for the near perfect film experience, geek that I am).

My wants as a fan of the original 3 films were easy. I wanted at least 2 vehicular chases (1 conventional and 1 exotic), whip swinging, breaking windows, one scene involving snakes, deathtraps, puzzle doors, several fistfights, riddles and being chased by natives.

And what do you know? I got all that and a bit more. Classic Indiana Jones stuff, and the homages to the earlier films were a nice touch. Some new elements too. The most extreme being surviving a hydrogen bomb test in a refrigerator.

My friends and I had a great time.

So how does this stack against the other three films? Using entertainment value as my only criteria, I enjoyed this more than Temple of Doom, but I liked Raiders and Last Crusade more.