Review: Final Crisis #1 (DC)

Against my better judgment, I picked up a copy of DC's Final Crisis #1. Why the initial bias against the book? The DC universe has had its share of cataclysm stories before, the greatest of which is probably The Crisis of Infinite Earths back in the mid 1980's. Since then, however, the entertainment value of these planet- or universe-threatening crises has dropped significantly.

Zero Hour? Confused people running around in time with Hal Jordan's existential angst mixed in. Identity Crisis? Horribly anti-climactic "the attention-deprived psychotic wife did it." Infinite Crisis (you might notice at this point that DC loves to use the word Crisis to death)? It might have been a worthy direct sequel to Infinite Earths, if only Superman (Earth-2) could make up his mind as to what he really wanted, and if they hadn't turned on Alexander Luthor's "evil genes," and if Superboy (Earth Prime) didn't "mature" into a hormonal teenage whackjob.

Even the otherwise superb Sinestro Corps War story arc of Green Lantern (hey, they didn't use the word Crisis... yipee) had an epilogue which made my head throb. If you're curious, I can sum up the hinted-at future events as: Rainbow Brite and the Color Kids Royal Rumble Throwdown Meets Dawn of the Dead. Bring your Skittles and Trix kids. And try not to let the colorful sparklies hurt your eyes.

So it's not like that there's been a very good precedent of late with DC's cosmic-changing events.

And then there were the vague rumors. Like how this was going to be the time when "evil wins," or how an A-List hero (Martian Manhunter?) would be killed by some Z-list "super" villain.

But like I said, I picked up a copy (not necessarily mine) of the title and read through it, trying my best to keep an open mind.

Then I read it again.

You know what? I'm still confused. Confused to the point where I don't know where to begin sorting my thoughts on the material.

I suppose it would be good to start on what seems to be the premise of the whole book. Grant Morrison, who had a decent run on several titles, gets overwhelmed by his own cleverness by writing two plots into the book. First, some suggestively not-so-human-but-human-looking-guy named Libra is gathering as many villains as he can, regardless of competence or quality, in order to grant them their "heart's desire" and to "balance the scales" (woo, my name is Libra and I balance the scales... catchy). Second, as heroes are called into high alert by the death of Orion of the New Gods, someone going by the name "Boss Dark Side" is kidnapping children, giving them to "Granny," in order to teach them how to recite the "equation" (sigh). I'm calling it two plots this early because there isn't the slightest hint that either of the two are connected.

Now we've got the straightforward plot (Libra. Make Evil Win. Woot.), and the mysterious plot (New God dies. Deities playing with children. To what end? Dun-dun-dunnnnnn...) vying for attention in the same book.

I'm pretty sure the two are connected in some way, or at least, will be connected later on. And in a suitably Grant Morrison-esque fashion. Unfortunately, not everyone will want to wait till the end of 7 issues to find out just how they're connected. There will be people who will say to hell with it from the first issue and will wait for the collected trade paperback before getting back into the story. I know I would.

I don't mind a single plot with multiple perspectives or fronts. But multiple plots? Tends to get confusing, and draws reader attention in two separate directions.

The first installment of Final Crisis not only confuses the reader as to which direction the story is really going, but also lacks the substance worthy of a title with "Crisis" in it. As first issues go in a limited series, you'd ideally want to draw the reader in immediately. In this case, the reader immediately wants to know "where's the universal uber-threat?"

The reader is looking for something worthy to keep his attention. Final Crisis 1 first offers the death of Orion, a New God. Dead god. Seems worthy right? Well, only if you're not someone who is up-to-date with DC continuity. This is a publishing outfit that has difficulty consolidating continuity with consistency. Two previous titles dull the impact of Orion's demise. The appropriately-named Countdown to Final Crisis had Orion finally defeating his father Darkseid in mortal combat, on Earth no less, but suffered grave injuries at the time, and virtually disappeared toward the end of the series. The battle was witnessed by or was known about by multiple heroes. Also, the mini-series Death of the New Gods had the Source being instrumental in killing all of the New Gods of both Apokolips and New Genesis, in order to end the Fourth World and begin the Fifth World, and selecting Orion as its instrument in the final slaying of Darkseid (a link to the end of Countdown). The events of this mini-series were witnessed by no less than Superman himself. So where's the mystery here? Why are they speculating murder when they should be thinking about "died from injuries sustained in his fight with Darkseid?"

The issue is made all the more confusing when Superman and other heroes seem completely clueless when the Justice League has a meeting. Another one of DC convenient "plot-induced senior moments?" You'd think Grant Morrison wouldn't make such an error.

The other draw? Libra granting villains their heart's desires? Here's a pic of Libra killing J'onn Jonnz with a flaming spear. Supposedly while said Martian was incapacitated with "pyro tranquilizers." Right. No buildup as to where, how or when he managed to do this. Just "drag the Martian in so we can kill him as a demo to the big guns." Why did Libra choose Jonn? Some overweight Z-lister going by the name of The Human Flame wanted him dead for capturing him once. Libra's more than happy to oblige it seems. Instead of being overjoyed at the prospect of someone possibly being helpful in killing Superman, Mr. Lex Luthor is profoundly skeptical. As am I.

Of course, no guarantee that IS J'onn. Seems all too simple. Martian Manhunter deserves better. So does the reader.

Don't get me started on the inanity of the whole "Boss Dark Side" part of the plot. You're not fooling anyone. The kids with the glowing eyes and sharpened teeth were a nice touch though.

Verdict: Save yourself the headache. Wait for the TPB. And while you're at it, read DC Universe 0. Otherwise you won't understand a thing. Better still, read Secret Invasion. Entertaining you without the need for a Tylenol.