[MtG] Type 4 - Mirrodin Besieged Set Review

This is the first in a series of set reviews for Type 4. Given that this is the first time I've been blogging in a long time, I'll start with Mirrodin Besieged and work my way backwards. Most of the time, I'll be comparing the cards with an existing T4 staple. In cases where I deem the staple to be better, it goes without saying that if you cannot find said staple, the analyzed card will be a good substitute.

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The immediate comparison would be to put this next to Kirtar's Wrath. The latter sweeps regenerators clean, but Phyrexian Rebirth's creature token is often much bigger, albeit without evasion. Which would be more valuable? In the end, it depends on your Stack. Many "modern" stacks have only a few regenerators, replacing creatures with that ability with the "new regeneration:" Indestructible. In such a case, you might as well get the larger token from the bargain.



Compare this to Windbrisk Raptor. The first difference you'll notice is that this creature grants all your creatures flying, whereas the Raptor does not. Is this important? On the surface, it seems like the answer is yes, until you realize that most T4 beaters already fly or have some other form of evasion. If your stack is lacking evasive beaters, then this creature's ability is a step up from the Raptor. If your stack is filled with evasive beaters, then the Raptor's superior 5/7 body increases its survivability and beatdown power. The lifelink is golden though, so if your stack has room for both, so much the better.



A bit to small to be a proper beater, this sphinx is more utilitarian in that he draws you cards. The potential reward is great. To exceed the value of Opportunity, it must survive for two of your opponent's turns (Two cards drawn each for two opponents plus someone spending a card to kill this = 5 cards). Any longer than that and this guy just became ridiculous.



Stealing one of your opponent's creatures is still a great form of removal. This of course must be compared to the standard Control Magic. For a comparison, just answer the question: Do you want a stolen beater to have Infect? Well... if it's hugely huge, with a power of 10 or greater, then the answer is universally yes. Remember, 10 poison counters is death. Any more is icing. Same goes for any evasive creatures that can kill in two swings, which is most of the decent beaters in a stack. Also, if the stolen creature is hard to kill or has immunities, it makes a great defender due to the -1/-1 counter buildup on enemy creatures.



Creepy art, check. "Counter target spell" hard counter text, check. Secondary effect, check. Need another hard counter to replace one of your vanilla Cancels or Counterspells? More than decent.



Bouncing two permanents, given the Rule of Law, can be crippling. Only downside is that there's a much better card out there that's much much harder to counter. If you don't have it, this is a decent tempo card for the stack (and kills those annoying Marit Lage tokens too).



This is one for the mass creature kill lists. It's a Flowstone Slide or Mutilate that kills even Crowd Favorites. The reshuffle effect goes great with cards like Aladdin's Lamp or Planar Portal.



It's small, has no evasion, and will kill barely anything. The secondary effect is similarly mediocre given that this won't kill anything save for a token-happy player who's sitting behind a swarm of 1/1's and 2/2's. It does combo well with Ixidron, but little else.



There are certain... artifacts of a very nasty nature that have a tendency to keep coming back, either by their own power or due to recursion combos. This would be an excellent way to make sure they never show up again, and you get a two-for-one.



Do you have this in your stack? Or this? Or even this? If so, don't bother with this strictly weaker version whose only redemptive value is being reshuffled. If you're missing those cards, then you might consider putting this in, provided you ave a decent number of green-colored beaters.



Wow. Just... wow. At last, a Yawgmoth's Will effect even better than the original card that T4 can use. Easily a top pick, and well worthy of the mythic rarity. Even better, its mana cost suggests it won't be very useful in Constructed, keeping the price of this gem low. Probably the best T4 card in the set.



Great abilities. The fact that he can't be countered is always excellent in T4. Trollshroud is the best kind of untargetability, and regeneration is always good for mixing it up with other creatures. He's SMALL. He's 2/2 below the T4 beater minimum. That's not so bad in itself until you combine it with his other drawback. He doesn't EVADE. He doesn't affect anything on the board but himself. So he's too small and non-evasive to be a beater, and has no utility save for blocking. Nail in the coffin. Save this for constructed formats.



Let's go through the process of analyzing this planeswalker the way we did the others.

Question 1: Do his non-ultimate abilities do something that is playable in T4 at sorcery speed?
Question 2: Is his ultimate powerful enough to warrant using him anyway?

Answer 1: In an artifact-heavy stack, there might be enough artifacts going around to warrant his <+1> ability, but chances are, 5 cards is nowhere deep enough to dig. His <-1> ability changes one of your existing artifacts into a vulnerable 5/5 creature. Certainly not sterling. I suppose you could turn one of an opponent's artifacts into a creature then kill it with creature kill, but why would you spend a planeswalker on a two-card sometimes-useful combo?

Answer 2: Uhm. No. Ultimate is next to useless. Tezz should stick to Constructed, thankfully.



Remember what I said about artifacts of a certain nature that are hard to get rid of? This is a sterling example. He's not just tough. He's a beast. He kills in one hit. Legitimately. As in, without using or needing infinite mana. The last creature to be able to do this was Phage the Untouchable, and unlike her, this guy has no drawbacks. His presence legitimizes the existence of a few other "attack to kill" creatures in your stack. Imagine combining this guy with Miren, the Moaning Well and "Ach, Hans, Run!" Definitely a T4 staple and the second best T4 card in this set.



Is this better than Mortivore? It doesn't regenerate, but unlike Mortivore, it can stack onto your most evasive creature and can attack for massive damage. Imagine this on Skithiryx. Normally, when you judge equipment and creature enchantments for the stack, you'd have to determine if you really want the enhancements they provide, or would you just rather have a quality creature instead? By coming with its own built in creature, the Bonehoarder solves that problem for you.



Hmm... I look at this, and I realize it's technically a Shield of Kaldra reprint for T4. Then I take a glance at Spearbreaker Behemoth and Deathless Angel and realize that it's no longer necessary.



Right now, the only poisonous creatures worth T4 attention are the colossus and Skithiryx. Losing 2 life and milling six cards isn't worth using this to replace cards like Aladdin's Ring or Helm of Obedience.



This reminds me of Eye of the Storm in that it's making my head throb just trying to imagine the horrors of this in an 8 player table. I'd skip this, but if you're a fan of chaos multiplayer, then this is a must have.



Why would I use Meddling Kids and not this? Perhaps it's because the kids can shut down spells and entire strategies, including spells that can get rid of the kids. This guy? Not so much. He shuts down permanents, but that's it. And besides, if I wanted to shut down activated abilities, there's Azorius Guildmage.



The last card up for review is this baby, strictly better than Vindicate or Desert Twister. Being a solid artifact, it can be recursed more easily than sorceries which do the same thing. This plus Bosh. Think about it.

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That's it for Mirrodin Besieged. Next, I work my way backard and review Scars of Mirrodin.

[MtG] Type 4 - Evaluating Creatures

How does one evaluate whether a creature is good enough for Type 4?

To use an oft-mentioned quote, it's not all about size. But yes, size matters.

This environment is filled with the nastiest spells in Magic. The sooner an opponent is dead, the better. That's one less guy to worry about. And the most reliable way to kill someone is still to turn creatures sideways and send them into the red zone. Big creatures. Gigantic creatures. The kind that make Constructed beaters like Blastoderm or a fully-realized Wild Nacatl look shrimpy.

However, not all good Type 4 creatures are huge. A lot of the most useful ones are below average size, or downright tiny.

Creatures in Type 4 are generally classified into two categories: beaters or utility. It's a rare creature that can fit both classifications, and those are often some of the most coveted creatures for the format.

Beaters
What makes a good Type 4 beater?

Here's where the size comes in. What counts as "average" in Type 4? In general, if a creature's Power + Toughness is greater than or equal to 12, that makes it average. Anything larger is better, anything smaller puts in doubt its status as a beater. In general, a 5/5 or smaller creature had better be doing something else. If its purpose is to smash your opponent into powder, then 5/5 is too small.

There are a few exceptions of course. A 4/3 with double strike is decent, if not spectacular. A slightly below average-sized creature can still be a frightening beater given the right set of abilities:


Also, as with Constructed Magic, creatures with evasive abilities are better than normal. You might also classify a creature as having no evasion, "standard" evasion, or true evasion.

Standard evasive abilities include, from best to worst, fear/intimidate, flying, and trample. They're better than having no evasion at all, but flying and trample are also weaker in this format than in most other formats. Flying is weaker because it's the most common form of evasion in T4 and so many beaters fly. Two 6+ power fliers facing off in the sky is a normal occurrence. Trample is similarly weaker because with few exceptions, you won't be getting in for much. Your 8/5 trampler doesn't seem as good when they block with a 6/6.

True evasion in T4 represents creatures who simply can't be blocked as an inherent part of their design. Considering that blocking is often fatal in this format, this is an important thing.


If your group follows the right house rule (like we do), the more common form of unblockability is landwalk, because every player is considered to have one or infinite numbers of every basic land in play (depending on the individual rule). This makes any kind of landwalk function. The huge islandwalkers in particular are of interest.


Beaters that can do more than smash face are also more valuable. Ideally, a beater must be able to inflict its combat damage and still be able to use whatever abilities it has. One of the best abilities is lifelink, or something similar. Gaining life in multiplayer while inflicting damage is very useful (also termed "lifegain on a stick").

Other abilities which get triggered by attacking, or inflicting combat damage can be just as effective, if not more so.


Utility
The utility creature can be small in size, because its primary function are its abilities, rather than its ability to smash in the red zone. The most valuable of these are the ones who have activated abilities which can be used multiple times, eg. Don't require the creature to tap.

Of those, among the most coveted for stacks are known as the "Masticores," because they're able to wipe the board of all other creatures, and can keep the board clear until someone destroys them.


There are many creatures with such abilities, but many of them are broken and unfair in an environment with infinite mana. Oona can remove every colored card from all opponents' libraries and create a huge horde of faeries besides, Selesnya Guildmage can creature infinite saprolings and pump all of your creatures to infinite power and toughness, and Reckless Embermage can kill the entire table.

Such creatures can be legal provided there's sufficient errata or house rules, such as setting the value for X, or limiting certain abilities to a particular number of activations per turn. Even without such creatures though, there are many powerful abilities that can still be considered fair despite infinite applications.

Next in value are the creatures who affect the board simply by being in play. Ideally, they have a clause that limits negative abilities to opponents, or limits positive abilities to just you.


The weakest kind of abilities are enters-the-battlefield trigger abilities, because normally, you only get to use those once. Imagine them as being sorceries with creatures attached. So if you put in a utility creature that has those abilities, make sure they do something really useful or really versatile. Being a little sizable helps too.


Combination
As mentioned earlier, creatures which have utility abilities and classify as beaters are among the best creatures in T4. Be sure to grab those whenever you see them, because they quickly become staples that you'll never want to get rid of (at least, not unless they print something strictly better.

[MtG] Type 4 - The Basics of the Best Casual Format Ever

This is the initial entry to my series of blogs on the Type 4 format, which is meant to document the development of my group's Type 4 Stack, analysis of cards for their value in Type 4, and discussion of certain house rules and how they affect card choices and the overall play experience.

As a brief introduction to the topic, Type 4, also known as Limited Infinity, is a casual Magic the Gathering format that's based on two primary principles:

1. You have infinite mana of every color and type (including colorless and exotic types like snow mana).
2. The Rule of Law is in effect; aka. You may only cast one spell per turn.

A single communal pile or Stack of cards is assembled, drafted, and then games are played using all drafted cards (no sideboards), often in a single multiplayer table.

The fun is that with infinite mana, you can pretty much use the most degenerate, high-cost spells you have. Within limits of course. Spells and effects which can kill people outright shouldn't be used in the Stack. Those with X costs should be especially regulated for brokenness (ex. Fireball for infinite damage to all opponents, Healing Stream for infinite life, Stroke of Genius to make someone draw infinite cards).

Otherwise, toss in every crazy high cost rare or abusable card ability you can find. I won't go too much into it, especially since there's already a great article on the subject written by Steven Menendian.

Instead, I'll move onto the house rules used in my Stack. These house rules justify some of the card choices in the Stack itself, as well prevent individual errata on any of the cards.

1. You may cast one additional alternative cost spell per turn on top of your standard spell per turn. Examples of these are cards with alternative costs (ex. Force of Will), cards which cost 0 mana (ex. Pact of Negation), or whose costs have been reduced to 3 or lower by special conditions (ex. Avatar of Woe).
2. The maximum value of X in any cost is 20.
3. Effects/abilities which pump power, draw cards, or copy spells/effects can only be activated twice per turn per card.

That's enough for an introduction. For the next entry, I'll discuss the mainstay beatstick creatures of the stack, and which ones are stand-ins for replacement.

Review: Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen

No picture yet. I'm sending this from a faraway place. Details will not be forthcoming.

I'll be straightforward.

The movie was incredible. It rivals Star Trek for sheer fun. Testament to how good I thought it was? I watched it twice. Last time I watched a movie in the theater more than once? Return of the King.

It's no Lord of the Rings, but Michael Bay knows his military, knows how to blow things up, and makes a really great Transformers film.

Like Star Trek, it's not without a couple of logical inconsistencies which will stretch your ability to suspend disbelief, but not to the extent where it will affect your ability to enjoy the film.

Several things I'd like to bring up about the movie, trying to avoid as many spoilers as possible.

First, Soundwave. I love how he was given the form of a spy and communication satellite. And I enjoyed his status as the Decepticon tactical coordinator. And I liked that he survived to cause trouble in the next movie. Best of all, he was voiced by Frank Welker. I didn't like that he didn't say "Ravage, eject," and that Ravage was a casualty. Then again, that just means Laserbeak is coming.

Second, more robotic asskicking. The Autobot vs Decepticon combat in this movie was ramped up to the nth degree compared to the first movie. Best part was that Optimus Prime was the one who did the best fighting, up to and including dual-wielding energy-enhanced blades versus three Decepticons (best fight in the movie).

Third, more Transformers. Hooray for bringing in Arcee(s), Devastator (the real one), Jetfire, Soundwave and Sideswipe. Boo to not having Sunstreaker (he and Sideswipe are bros, dammit), Shockwave (really, big, gun), and Grimlock (Spielberg! Jurassic Park! Grimlock bridges both movies!).

Lastly, and people who watched the first film will understand what a big thing this is... They made Agent Simmons cool. I won't go into details how. But he was the coolest human in the movie. Salutes to the authors.

Watch it. Get the DVD. Then bring on another sequel.

Tragedy: Alzheimer's on a PC Scale

Y'know why my Star Trek review was late?

This is easy. My software and storage drive, which is to say the 500GB serial ATA Seagate 7200.11 drive of my PC, died in the worst way possible by getting a short which fried the drive. Along with it, it took out Nero, Red Alert 3, Prince of Persia, World of Warcraft, Puzzle Quest: Galactrix, Fallout 3, Bioshock, the entire season 2 of Gundam 00, the entirety of Firefly, season 5 of Battlestar Galactica, Wolverine and the X-Men season 1, 60% of Tora-Dora, and whatever eps had come out of Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood and Transformers Animated season 3, over 400 music mp3's, and dozens of digitized comics and ebooks.

That leaves me with my original, circa 2004 non-SATA 40GB hard drive functioning, which is already stuffed, leaving me with no room to start getting back all the stuff I lost, and no room to install the software I already have.

Seagate, who found out only recently that that particular line of drives (.11) was defective, will replace my drive in 3 weeks with the supposedly-stable .12 series, so I got nothing till mid-June.

I've already worked out my initial frustration and anger on the first 3 days of the event, so this blog entry is only here as a memorial to my faith in self-made obsolescence. Hooray.

Review: Star Trek

Sorry. This is really long overdue, so I'll make it short and sweet.

I watched Star Trek the same weekend it came out, and boy, was I impressed. I'm not a Trekkie by any measure of the word. I've seen maybe 3 or 4 episodes of the original series, about 2 dozen each of Next Generation and Deep Space 9, and Season 3 onwards of Voyager, but only for lack of anything better to watch. I have seen all the previous motion pictures, none in the theaters, and the only ones I deemed to be rewatchable are Wrath of Khan and The Voyage Home (go whales!).

I'm fairly well-versed in the geek cliches of Trek, however, and that's probably one of the reasons I loved the reboot movie so much. Same goes for my wife. She loved it and she's less of a Trek fan than even myself.

The film managed to breathe new life and energy into an aging franchise while somehow paying more than commendable homage to everything that made the original series such a cult classic. The entire classic cast was there, and though history in the film was irrevocably altered, one could immediately see that this crew, on this starship, had a destiny together that was too strong for even a nutbar like Eric Bana to destroy.

The verbal homages rocked. And most of them were in there, including "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a..." and "I'm givin' it all she's got, Captain!" Portrayals of the classic cast were spot on, from their personality down to the classic lines that would never grow old, and this despite giving new elements and dimensions to each character. If some of the cast seemed like cardboard cutouts in the TV series, the crew in the film had life. Why else would I have been cheering so often in the film?

Best film moment, hands down, was when future Spock, reprised by the immortal Leonard Nimoy, said to Kirk, "I am, and always will be, your friend."

If I wasn't so busy applauding, I would have shed a tear.

Now, if for some odd reason, you haven't seen this film yet, find time to watch it. It will make a diehard of even the most casual fan. Bring on the next on, Mr. Abrams. I'll be waiting.

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Addendum: Meanwhile, watch out for Chris Hemsworth. He did an incredible job as James Kirk's father, George Kirk, in the opening minutes of the film. Now, he's been cast to star as Thor in the 2011 movie helmed by Kenneth Branagh. Good luck, Chris. Do the role proud.

DC Comics Hates Racial Diversity (?)

Does it now?

Depends on who you ask. Superhero comics in general have always been caucasian/white-centric. The banner heroes of DC and Marvel have always been white caucasians, and mostly male. Marvel has Spider-Man, Thor, the Fantastic Four, Wolverine, Iron Man, and even the original X-Men as all being white. DC's "trinity" of Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman are all white. Their premier ensemble cast in the Justice League is mostly white (Green Lantern, Flash, Aquaman, Hawkman). It's only of late that people of color have been seen in roles of greater significance, and one has yet to step forward into the realm of universal recognition that the big-league heroes enjoy.

This year, DC ended several comics that feature women and/or people of color, including Blue Beetle (hispanic) and Birds of Prey (featuring a rotating all-female cast). Conversely, Power Girl gets her own series, which is only half-good since she's also a blonde blue-eyed caucasian, a lot of the main Justice League members are now women or people of color (ex. Black Canary - caucasian female, Firestorm - black, Vixen - black and female, John Stewart - black Green Lantern, Dr. Light - asian female), and certain male heroes have now been replaced with female counterparts (ex. The Question).

Still not enough.

Today's rant was inspired by a teaser image on The Source, DC's official blog, and is entitled "I Am Batgirl."

Here's the image:


A quick summary for those of you unfamiliar with Batgirl in the present canon DCU. The original Batgirl, Barbara Gordon, was paralyzed from the waist down when the Joker shot her (seen in the excellent work The Killing Joke). She moved on to become the tactical information and network genius known as the Oracle, a role which has done more good than she had ever done in the mask and cowl. When the No Man's Land event occured, Barbara passed the role of Batgirl to a new hero named Cassandra Cain.

Cass became my favorite Batgirl because of her tormented origins. I'm a sucker for pathos, and Cass had it in spades. Taught from infancy to be a killer by her father, the assassin David Cain, she never learned to talk, understanding only the language of movement. Her brutal training taught her to be fatal, merciless, and to ignore pain. And yet she rose above that to a higher calling, vowing never to kill again. Wonderful stuff. And did I mention that she's decidedly Asian? Certainly can't forget that fact.

So what's the issue here? That's her iconic costume in the pic above, supposedly a cover of issue 1 of the new Batgirl series coming in August. With one exception, the part of her cowl covering her mouth has been ripped out (hence the frayed stitchings), allowing us to see the character's subtly smiling lips. Problem there is that the mouthpiece of the cowl was very symbolic of Cassandra, representing her speech impediment and difficulties in social interaction. With the mouthpiece ripped out, and the eyes in the image being hidden, it's strongly suggestive that the Batgirl in the image isn't Cass.

A lot of people think that with Batman now "dead" (don't ask... blame Grant Morrison and the mess that's Final Crisis), there's gonna be a new Batman (likely Richard Grayson) and a new Robin, so why not a new Batgirl? Speculation is going that with the mini-series "The Cure" possibly repairing Barbara's paralysis, she will take up the Batgirl cowl again, leaving Cassandra high and dry.

How this transition will occur is anyone's guess, though there's some evidence that something horrible will happen to Cass (again). What saddens me is that that's more diversity gone from the DCU. Red-haired, white-skinned Barbara becomes Batgirl again, and the Asian female who's gone through so much leaves. Doubly sad given that I love Barbara as Oracle.

I'm hopeful that there will still be a role for Cassandra after this, but she'll always be Batgirl to me.

More comments come August. You can bet on that.

Review: X-Men Origins - Wolverine + Extra

Obligatory Update Update
I'll start with the "Extra" part first.

Been a long time since I've actually blogged about anything. I blame three things. First is my last post. The one where I ranted about the casting of the Avatar live-action movie. Anyone who knows me, and especially those who also love Avatar, knows how seriously I took this. I think I've certainly taken every opportunity in the past months to join others in the world community to fight this. Did that affect my blogging? Yes, sorta. Writing that post burned out any urge I had to write anything journal-like. Maybe it was the fear of eventually posting an uncivilized response, and I didn't want that.

The other thing is comics. I've more than doubled my comic-reading since December, and partly to blame are the interesting developments in the Dark Reign environment in the Marvel continuity. I'd love to blog about those, but I haven't because of what transpired before those events. I'm OC over doing reviews of previously-read comics before moving onto the new ones. It's not easy to overcome that. Problem is the events in DC and Marvel that happened before the Dark Reign era can be summarized thusly: Batman R.I.P. (confusing and mediocre), Final Crisis (triply confusing and terrible), and the end of Secret Invasion (triply terrible and infinitely disappointing end to what started out as the most awesome metaplot in the history of Marvel). It took me 5 months to work my way past wanting to review those. Now I can pick up from out of nowhere. Joy!

Third thing I blame is World of Warcraft. I've been playing in a private server for kicks, and I started some time after I got the double burnout I outlined in the first two points above. Anyone who plays MMOs knows how engaging this game can be, and even though I'm no longer a hardcore MMO-gamer, I did find WoW very engaging. I don't think I need to elaborate anymore.

On with the review!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
First, the title. Why did they have to put "X-Men Origins" in it? "Wolverine" was just fine! It's not as if there's any other X-Man worth making an origin movie of. And only comic-readers will know that "Origins" is part of a long-running story arc in Marvel comics.

Second, the movie, as a whole, was actually good. It's not as entertaining as Iron Man, and I didn't expect it to be. It's a serious story. Duh. It's Wolverine's history. Were people expecting a comedy and wit? It did a good job of interpreting the comic-continuity history of Logan and translating it to a cinematic medium, all while integrating it to the events of the previous X-Men films (cameo of Prof. X! Woot!). All-in-all better than the third X-Men film. 3 stars.

Props to making Cyclops cool in this film. He was a bumbling teenager. And he was cool. Makes you realize that when he lets the whole X-Men leader thing get to his head, he becomes the lamest guy on the planet.

The cameos of mutants were nice. Along with Patrick Stewart as Prof. X, Emma Frost, Scott Summers, and Pietro Maximoff (Quicksilver) were among the ones I recognized (was that Ororo doing the ice and snow thing?).

Still don't understand why Kayla, who is dark-haired and has Native Amercan features (and even narrated what sounds like a Native American legend to Logan), is older sister to Emma Frost, who is 100% caucasian, and in the film, was a natural blonde.

I need to conclude with Deadpool. While the movie did a nice job of explaining Wade's eventual codename, their treatment of this very popular non-hero character bordered on the criminal. Why? It's not that they gave him those extra powers. It's not that he didn't get to put on a cool red and black costume akin to his comic incarnation. And it's not the fact that they killed in the end of the film. It's none of those things.

You see, anyone who knows and loves Wade's character knows what makes Deadpool Deadpool. It's his mouth. His constant, annoying, disrespectful and completely situationally-inappropriate babble. You can take away the swords, the costume, the regeneration, and the teleportation. But if he's still yakking away, Wade's still 100% Deadpool.

His conversation early in the film was spot on. It was one of the most spot on interpretations of a comic character I've seen, possibly taking a close second to Downey's Tony Stark. I looked forward to more as the movie continued. Then the criminal act happened. When Wade reappeared in the end of the film as Weapon XI "Deadpool," they sealed his mouth shut. They didn't let "the merc with the mouth" talk. That's insanely stupid. Imagine if an entire movie with Wolverine went by and for the remaining 50%, they didn't make him unsheath his claws.

Utterly pointless.

And that's all I have left to say.

Beyond Rage: The Whitewashing of Avatar

Words fail me right now, as I try to rein in my chaotic thoughts to compose this. This paragraph alone took me over ten minutes to write, because I'd have to keep stopping in order to push myself back and breathe deeply in order to stop seeing red. I keep reminding myself that it would do no good to vent by pounding the keyboard to splintered plastic, nor would it serve me to punch holes through my monitor. Having to revise these lines to a semblance of civility from the original, R-Rated-for-Violence-and-Strong Language version caused delays as well.

Now that I'm sufficiently calm enough, it's time to rant. And I'll endeavor to make this as simple and straightforward as possible.

This is my reaction to the latest news about the movie adaptation of my favorite piece of animation, Avatar: The Last Airbender. Those who know me know I'm an uber-fan of that series. I could say a hundred things about it, but I'll summarize it by giving it the best compliment I can give: It's a wonderfully-written piece of art, and I doubt that I could have written it better.

When I first heard about the live-action movie, I had qualms, since I felt that Avatar as a setting and environment was strictly best as an animation. Then I heard that M. Night Shyamalan was directing. That made me even more nervous. Shyamalan's previous works belong to a completely different genre and mood from that of Avatar, and some of his previous directing decisions have been somewhat... dubious. And then, I heard about the casting. I read that the casting criteria when seeking Aang didn't have racial parameters.

Uh-oh. I then mused on a terrible scenario: That Aang's role might go to that of a Caucasian.

When it comes to casting roles in adaptations, I by default insist that established racial lines be adhered to as closely as possible. When that rumor of Will Smith being considered for the role of Captain America came out, I hated the idea, not because of being biased against Will being black, or the actor himself, but simply because Captain America is white, and so he should be portrayed by a white male. It's that easy.

Moving back to Avatar, I still expressed some hope that they would do the casting justice, especially in casting unknowns possessing the proper racial attributes. I mean, how could they get that wrong? One of the wonders of the Avatar setting is that it's predominantly Asian, including the characters and people. And Shymalan himself is Asian. And his daughters were mentioned to be extreme fans of the show. Surely he wouldn't make an error?

I should have known that something terrible would happen when my friends and I began joking about him casting a white Sokka, or a white Mai, or a white Katara. My group of friends tends to have some degree of prophetic power when it comes to our communal jokes.

It was just a few days ago that I discovered the horror.

The HORROR.

From what casting had been revealed, it was not a single mistake. It was a total, complete, shameful whitewash.

Jackson Rathborne, for all the appropriateness of his role in Twilight, was cast as Sokka. Some white babe named Nicola Peltz was given the role of Katara. And Jesse McCartney was given the role of Zuko.

...

...

...

That was the sound of my soul screaming.

This is the pair that discovers the Avatar in the iceberg:


And this is the guy who's chasing after him:


Who's the Avatar? Some kid named Noah Ringer. He's supposed to be practicing karate. Yay. I bet he's white too. [I hope to God I'm wrong on this, since haven't seen a pic of the dude yet, but I'm not hoping very deeply given what I've seen.]

Apologies for the political reference, but I can't help but wince that I discover this after America wised up and elected their first African-American president.

As I hold my head in my hands, I despair at what went wrong. This is the closest that Shyamalan could have come to a direct betrayal. This movie and story is based on so many Asian cultures. And he tosses in the whitest cast I've ever seen. Nice going. What? They were chosen for their talent? Is Shyamalan and his casting director (if he has one) saying they couldn't find a single non-white actor that could fit any of those roles?

You've got no idea what you're doing, Shyamalan. What little respect I had for you is gone now. I hope your daughters crucify you for this BLASPHEMY.

Meanwhile, we wait in dread for the rest of the cast announcements. I wonder which cherubesque blondie they'll cast for Toph. I'll be printing that actress's picture along with that of the rest of the cast, attaching it to Shyamalan's effigy and setting the lot on FIRE.

Bah.

Bunch of Stuff

Some quick hits for now, just to offload all that stuff that's buzzing around in my head these past few weeks. There comes a time when due to my diverse interests, I supersaturate my brain, and I wanna write about everything.

Of course, there's no way I can do that, so I instead end up writing about nothing.

I suppose I'll be writing entries like these more often in the future.

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Secret Invasion - I'm holding off on writing a review of Secret Invasion 7. It's a brawl. The tiny bit involving Spider-Man is the only truly amusing bit in the whole comic, with the rest being a mindless, stupid, senseless fight with no sense of tension whatsoever. People, this is how NOT to invade another planet. Take notes. Given this, I'll wait till the final issue before rendering judgment, on the slight chance that this pointless charade is actually leading to something profound. I'm not hopeful though.

Gundam 00 (season 2) - Macross Frontier's wondrous mecha design and CG sequences have spoiled my brain, to the point where watching Gundam 00 is an arduous experience. The mecha design in Gundam 00 isn't bad, taken in a void. Problem is, I end up comparing it to both Macross Frontier and Gundam Seed/Seed Destiny, and by comparison, 00's mecha SUCKS. The only truly aesthetically pleasing mecha in both seasons for me was the Gundam Kyrios, and they stuck a knife in me by wrecking it at the end of season 1. The remaining mecha range from decent (Gundam 00-Exia Fusion), to hideous (Gundam Seravee and its giant Gundam head... don't get me started). Add the fact that Gundam 00 hosts a set of jaded main characters who are even more boring than Hiro Yui and Judo Ashita and we have ourselves a problem.

Star Wars, the Clone Wars - No, this is the CG series, not that disgusting second Lucas movie. It is shockingly entertaining. Likely because Lucas isn't writing the dialogue. Watch a few eps and see for yourself what a wonderful world Star Wars could be when its creator takes a few steps back.

Batman RIP - Is this bit of Morrison confusion over yet? Because I'm waiting for Neil Gaiman to take over. Seriously.

US Presidential Election - Congratulations, President Obama. You deserved it. You're inheriting a nation that's sliding downhill. I hope you realize you won because you're the only one capable of saving that country. Godspeed.

Super Robot Wars - Look! Bandai made something with CG mecha! Lots of CG mecha! Why is Gundam 00 so crappy then? Ugh. Here I am ranting about 00 again.

CSI - Both Grissom and Warrick are leaving now? Can Lawrence Fishburne really take over, or is this show finally jumping the shark? We'll have to see.

Next Generation Console - Yes, I still want a Wii, but I'm so caught up in retro-gaming at the moment, I probably won't bother yet. Besides, no one can find a Wii. All of them have been presold till next year. Someone said that right now, Nintendo could put its name on a bag of dirt and it will sell. I kinda agree. Ah, poor Sony, how far you've fallen.

Avatar - Have they cast Aang yet? PLEASE don't let it be some white kid.

On the Rain-slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One - The name says it all. I never thought a game co-developed by Penny Arcade would be so good. It's fun. Seriously. Play it. You can spare the 750php.

World of Goo - See what I mentioned about the game above? This is different. But still addictive. Horribly addictive. And sticky.

Hand-Made Greeting Cards - Wow. Our little home business is picking up. Orders are starting to come in. Must be the Christmas season. Anyone else want some handcrafted greetings?

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That's it. Back to watching Clone Wars.

Macross Frontier: The End

After 25 episodes, Macross Frontier has finally ended. Let me get one thing across right now, because it's important: it was much, much better than Macross 7, the last full Macross series (which was a horrible piece of work barely lifted past mediocrity by the presence of Max and Milia).

That said, it must also be mentioned that it was not better than the original Macross. Even comparing it to the OAV series, Frontier still ranks below Plus and Zero. But that still makes it good, overall.

Was I entertained? Yes. Especially during the first two-thirds of the series. After that, the story quality dropped, and I can tell you why. The pace felt too fast, character development stalled with some characters while it was rushed in others, and some technical aspects of the story lacked exposition or justification.

The reason behind this is the 25 episode limitation the makers of the anime placed upon themselves. In an effort to exagerrate the whole "Macross 25th Anniversary" theme, they placed numerous 25s in the series, both within and without. This included the 25 episode limit, which, quite frankly, SUCKS.

The original series was great, and though it had flaws of its own, had a fully developed plot and character development. Despite the relatively simple plot, it spanned a glorious 36 episodes.

Frontier was hamstringed by limiting it to 25 episodes, depriving viewers of desired subplot coverage, closure on multiple elements, and action scene length. I wasn't expecting another 36 episodes, but they could have surely increased the number of eps to 30+ if they hadn't gone with the stupid 25 theme.

The combined traditional + CG animation elements, especially for mecha battles, was a wonderful touch, but the times when I wanted to see long protracted dogfights felt like paying for a bucket of popcorn and getting a bare cupfull instead. Ozma versus Alto? One single kharmic pass. Brera vs Alto? Let's blow the guy up please, ASAP. NUNS and SMS vs. Ghost v9.0's? No. A few scenes, but nothing definite.

Ugh.

Lost potential. It could have been so good.

On other things, the ending was actually good, ignoring the fact that it was rushed. I liked the maintenance of the Archie-Betty-Veronica triangle between the three lead characters, and the fact that Alto was no longer a TOTAL wuss. Leon's dying horribly was denied to me, but at least Grace got annihilated. Damn. Do I HATE clones. I hate borg clones even more. A lot of things were left hanging, but the closure on the Vajra-Birdman-Protoculture metaplot was nice.

If I were to rate this I'd still give it a 7 of 10. That's a pretty good rating considering I'm so critical.

Time to look forward to the movie. If they make it a pseudo-continuity retelling of the series, like they did with Do You Remember Love?, I'd be overjoyed. That would mean it gets chance to correct some of its errors.

Review: Secret Invasion 6

After suffering from a "Fantastic" overdose in issue 5, Secret Invasion 6 promises something much better from the cover alone. Tony Stark bashing aside, that's the original Avengers trinity seen on the cover, composed of Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man.

Okay, technically, it's NOT the original trinity per se. Iron Man is now pumped up by the Extremis virus. Thor now has the Odinpower and brought himself back from oblivion post-Ragnarok, and with Steve Rogers still dead, that's the Bucky Barnes incarnation of Cap we're seeing (hence the uncharacteristic gun). Personally, I don't care. The issue is worth it just seeing these three in the same place at the same time, and without being at each others' throats.

Most of the issue focuses on bringing everyone together for a grand confrontation in Central Park, an action largely evoked by Thor without prior consultation. This means that come issue 7, we are going to get a battle worthy of the record books. Earth's superheroes versus the Skrull invasion force. That's something to look forward to. The fanboy in me rejoices.

Of course, the tactical strategist in me is screaming bloody murder.

Imagine you're the Skrulls. You got all these metahumans gathering in a single location, metahumans bent on stopping your invasion plans, most likely by killing every single one of you. Does it make sense that you meet them on the ground, in a classic standoff, your warskrulls facing the heroes at speaking distance? Especially when you have these hovering around the city?


This doesn't even include the ships in orbit.

WTF?!

Whatever happened to the concept of orbital bombardment?

"Oh look, the heroes are all in Central Park."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, what do we do?"

"Tell all ships in range to bombard their coordinates. Heavy energy weapons only."

"Yes, my Queen."

I know that would kill everyone, yes. But you wanna invade a planet, you gotta do it properly. However, it seems to me that we're in slam bang surreal mode here. If Nick Fury, Bucky, Reed, and Tony can be stupid enough to expose themselves en masse in one place like that, I suppose the Skrulls can be that stupid too.

Universal stupidity is catchy.

Here's what's coming next month:

Clueless

After recovering from my disgust over Secret Invasion 5, along comes another shocker. Hasbro has decided to "update" the boardgame Clue for a more "modern audience." Here's the graphic evidence:

The sad part is that they don't even plan to continue manufacturing what is now the "classic Clue." They take away the lead pipe because they don't like references to lead, adding more weapons like a trophy, a metal baseball bat, and of all things, an axe. They change the rooms because people nowadays won't know what a conservatory is. They added more cards for more variety of play.

This feels to me like the classic Western philosophy of completely throwing out the old in favor of the new. I'm not saying the game won't be fun, but goodness, what's next?

Chess 2.0? Behold, a more modern version of chess! There are no more pawns. The word "pawn" suggests slavery or taking advantage of someone. Wouldn't want the kids to be exposed to that. Instead, the new version calls them "minimum-waged militia." No bishops either. Too biased toward the Christian demographic. Let's call it the "spiritual advisor" instead.

We've revised the rules too! You can now choose to have a queen piece wearing a crown to represent the king. Gender equality. And gay marriages are now acceptable in many places. Two queens or two kings should be permissible. And not to forget interracial relations, you can now have both black and white pieces on the same side.

Joy!

"Review:" Secret Invasion 5

So Secret Invasion 5 is out, and I have to say it's the most disappointing of the 5 issues that are out so far. Which means that it's the ONLY disappointing issue that has come out, as the previous 4 were amazing.

There were some nice highlights in this issue, like how Agent Brand performs very nicely after her spotlight in Astonishing X-Men, and how the Skrull propaganda machine makes its planetary announcements by revealing themselves as famous personalities who were disguised all this time (including Oprah, Tom Cruise, Bin Laden, and our very own President, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo). But all of that was overshadowed by one of my pet peeves.

Reed Richards.

Brand manages to free him, and you can anticipate that the series is going to go downhill from here. Mr. Fantastic is Marvel's equivalent of Deus Ex in a stretchable bag. The guy can work miracles using nothing more than a toothbrush, a pocket calculator, and a few rubber bands. You put Reed Richards into any scenario, and instantly, it transforms into "what MAGICAL device will Mr. Fantastic create to FIX ANYTHING."

Seriously. Put him in any situation, and that's what he does. He's so smart he can beat GALACTUS.

He makes me PUKE.

His presence takes out the effort other characters have put up to that point and throws it in the dust like so much garbage. "Don't worry. Everything you worked for will easily be fixed with no effort using the mystical properties of my Fantastic Dream Beam!"

In the case of SI#5, from the time that it takes to go from high orbit to the Savage Land, he manages to whip up a Skrull Revalation Ray using Skrull equipment. Yes. A Skrull Revalation Ray. You fire it, and every disguised Skrull in the area suddenly reveals his Skrull form.

Wow.

All that hype about "Who Can You Trust?" and now it's undone by Mr. Fantastic.

I am so disgusted I can't write anymore. Forget it.

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PS. GMA is a Skrull. That explains SO MUCH.

Nitpicking Sozin's Comet Part 2

Zuko Snubs Toph

More minor gripes on something that was a very satisfying experience. This scene made me groan. You know the scene. Aang's gone to lion turtle island, and Team Avatar doesn't know where he went. They go looking for him, and Toph goes off with Zuko in what she hopes will be a life-changing field trip like the others had. While they're searching, she starts talking about her insecurities about acceptance from her family, and Zuko practically tells her to shut up and keep looking for Aang.

I appreciate the gravity of the situation they were in, and how important it was to find Aang. I also understand how driven Zuko can get. I also understand that the metastory was strained for time, even with 4 episodes to go. But dude, that was inexcusable. Especially after Toph was so nice to him when he was once again in emo mode about his uncle in Ember Island Players. He could have at least spared a few words of encouragement.

Spurning the cute earthbender when she's pouring out what might be her deepest hurt?

Bad form, sir. Very bad form.

All Hail Chaobunny

We interrupt your regularly-scheduled Avatar rant-n-rave to feature a semi-off-tangent topic. My friends and I recently discovered the satirical videos of a talented young lady going by the name of Chaobunny on Youtube. There, she has a series of extremely entertaining videos trying to explain the mysteries of how the minds of zealot-level Zutarians function. Rather than review the videos and sully the experience, I instead give you the direct links of these, the products of a hardworking scholar of Zutarian psychology.

Chaobunny, my friends and I salute you!

Chaobunny's Guide to Zutarian Logic: Part 1

Chaobunny's Guide to Zutarian Logic: Part 2

Chaobunny's Guide to Zutarian Logic: Part 3

Chaobunny's Guide to Zutarian Logic: Part 4

Chaobunny's Guide to Zutarian Logic: Part 5

Chaobunny's Guide to Zutarian Logic: Part 6

Chaobunny's Guide to Zutarian Logic: Part 7


* Image above is taken from Chaobunny's Guide to Zutarian Logic: Part 4 (I think). Videos are Chaobunny's work, Avatar belongs to its owners.

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And while we're on the subject of delusions and wishful thinking, here's a few links to materials concerning the candidate the Republicans are looking to field in the coming US election:

Paris Hilton Responds to John McCain

Obama's Response to McCain Claiming to be the "Original Maverick"

Review: The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

While I wasn't quite disappointed with the movie when I saw it this weekend, I can't say I was pleased either. The pacing was good. You could barely feel the almost 2 hours slide by. The effects were par, and the pulp dialogue and action was respectable. Still, there were several things lacking that made this the worst of the three movies.

There were inconsistencies in the movie that pretty much ruined my verisimilitude. Minor things first. At the gate of Shangri-La, why didn't they just cut the bridge? And why didn't they destroy the golden tower before trying to stop the emperor? When the sorceress summoned all those dead warriors to fight on their side, why didn't the Great Wall collapse? Weren't those guys buried in the foundation? And why did she speak the spell in English? Especially when the spell that cursed the emperor had to be spoken in Sanskrit? And while we're on the subject of English, why, at the sorceress's death, did her daughter cry out in English as well? In times of great distress, one would expect that you would shout out in your primary language. What, she was being melodramatic for the sake of her English-speaking companions? That is just stupid if it's the case.

And my main gripe? The Emperor himself. The big bad was LAME.

Master of the five elements of water, fire, metal, wood, and earth? Let's see... he threw balls of fire... and he made ice shards and ice slicks...

Where was the metal / wood / earth powers? No earthquakes? No rockslides? No dust storms? Why didn't he turn their own guns and bullets against them? What gives? Some master. "I have 5 uber abilities, but I'll only use 2 of them. Coz, yknow, I know KUNG FU!"

Blagh.

And where was the face? This is a Mummy movie! Brendan Frasier is supposed to be chased by an elemental manifestation with the mummy's face! Wasn't the emperor supposed to be the one USING THE AVALANCHE instead of being swept away by it? What a lousy oversight!

If Imhotep were around, he'd come by and wipe his ass with this stupid emperor.

Such a sad, sad waste for Jet Li. He probably feels like George Clooney did after Batman and Robin.

Wanna know what was the best thing about this movie? I'll tell you.

Right before the movie? I got to see the full Watchmen trailer.

Yes. The trailer is better than the movie.

If you haven't seen it, save your money and watch this on video or HBO.